and not the type that comes in a jar, but the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota.
Many of you have been so very kind to inquire about the current status of my eyes. You may have noticed that I mostly ignored those questions, or said very little. It is partly because there are not many answers right now, and partly because I continue to be in denial about some things.
Recent CT scans and appointments with specialists have not been encouraging.
The optic muscles and tissues are continuing to swell and enlarge, possibly creating new problems and worsening the double vision. I now experience double vision most of the time. With great effort and concentration, I am able to sometimes focus well enough to type and read. For that small blessing I am extremely grateful.
I have been able to do some machine sewing, but my eyes, head and neck become very tired.
I have also tried smocking. That actually went better than expected -- as long as I don't stick the needle in my eye or nose! I have to hold the stitching only inches away from the wonky eyeballs in order to focus and see. We are in the process of moving computers. I find it easier to use a laptop, as the screen adjusts more easily for viewing. However, being technically challenged, we have not figured out an easy way to download photographs from my camera to my laptop. Thus, the shortage of recent photographs here. I will keep working on that, or maybe ask Santa for an upgrade!
When I first began this journey, my surgeon promised he would do all he could to prevent complete loss of vision.
He was successful in that endeavor. I can see, it is just in a different, and often perplexing, manner.
There remains much for which I am thankful. There are also times when anger creeps in. Tears are frequent. Doors have been slammed, and temper tantrums have been thrown. Then, I calm down and reach for the nearest piece of chocolate!
One of the most difficult aspects for me is the variance in suggestions from my many doctors. Some say to patch an eye. Others say to refrain from patching. Some suggest warm compresses. Others suggest cold. If two would agree on just one thing, I would be a happy girl!
During my last doctor's visit, we were given the option of visiting other specialists around the country. At this time, my records are being gathered and transferred to the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, Minnesota.
My husband is actually rather excited about the prospect of appointments there. Both his mother and father had professional ties with the clinic. In our attic, are dusty autographed photographs of the Mayo brothers themselves, as well as other gatherings and events involving medical professionals from the clinic. My husband spent many childhood summers in Rochester. He is looking forward to taking a trip back in time. I am looking forward to moving ahead. I am not looking forward to visiting Minnesota in the dead of winter. My deepest apology to dear Minnesota friends!
As I recently shared with a very special group of prayer warriors, I no longer ask that my eyes be healed. Instead, I pray for the grace to accept my current vision and the life changes it brings.
I continue to be so very richly blessed.
Thank you for caring.
